korea

here's something i found on krista's friend katie's blog. she stole it from someone else...
You know you're Korean When:

1) You're 12-years old and you don't go home until 10 pm, or 11, or 12
2) And yet when you're unmarried at 25, you have to be home by ten.
3) You wrap kimchi around your rice before eating it.
4) You stare like a blinded deer in headlights at anyone different.
5) You attempt to go into the subway or elevator before the people get out.
6) If you ain't chewing and slurping your food at a loud volume then you
obviously ain't enjoying it. (eating deliciously)
7) You "slightly disregard" traffic rules. Like stopping at crosswalks for
those pesky pedestrians.
8 ) You go home and everything smells bad.
9) You think having 4 seasons is really special.
10) You describe any girl over 110 pounds as "fat."
11) Your closet is full of black, brown, and grey clothes.
12) You suddenly want to go to Prague or Bali because you saw them on a
Korean drama.
13) You drive out of a blind alley at 60 km/h.
14) you're an "expert" at making ramyen noodles.
15) You try the doorknob instead of ringing the doorbell or knocking first.
16) You eat more off your friend's plate than your own.
17) You answer the phone with a loud warbling
Wieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee????????
18 ) Your favorite teacher is the one that beats you the hardest.
19) The national hero you admire most is the one who has a nuclear bomb
pointed at you.
20--i didn't like this one so i deleted it (tm)
21) You appear to be thinking you look quite dignified while drinking your
shooter of 2 cent booze after noisily slurping octopus.
22) You're dropping a log in the squatter and spit on the floor in front of
you, thus clearing two orifices at once. Korean multi-tasking.
23) You jump out of the shower at the local gym and stand naked in front of
the mirror blow drying your family jewels. (men and women do this)
24) You grab the communal toothbrush at the gym and take it into the shower
with you!
25) Even though you weigh 120 you have to try and out bench the 190 pound
guy, because he's a foreigner.
26) You think that your mom's kimchi can cure your grandma's halitosis and
your grandpa's cancer.
27) Your cell phone has more than 20 pictures stored on it...of yourself.
28 ) There's more toilet paper in your dining room than your bathroom.
29) You believe that flushing toilet paper down the toilet will clog up the
plumbing so instead, throw your *beep* paper in a bin next to the toilet.
30) You are no longer bothered by the old Korean lady (ajumma) shoving a mop
between your legs as you stand at the urinal.
31) You view the handicapped-ramped crosswalks as a perfect place to jimmy
your car into at an angle. Pedestrians and handicapped people be damned- you
need to park!.
32) You hang a plastic glove filled with water in the window because you
believe mosquitoes and flies are scared of their reflection. (so THATS why they do that)
33) You look at thin blonde women and assume they are Russian hookers. (I've been asked if I'm Russian and I'm not blonde>
34) You open all of your windows in the middle of winter and crank up the
heat.
35) You're standing in the shower at the Sauna and offer to scrub a total
stranger's back. (This happened to me)
36) You don't think it's at all weird to share a hot tub butt naked with a
grandfather and his two grandsons.
37) You open the window a crack when your fan is running, just in case
because you think running fans can kill you! (It's true, also if someone in the family commits suicide, you say they died by "fan death")
38 ) You've traveled to various places in the world and when asked about
whether you liked the food or not, you say, "I don't know." "Did you try the
food?" "No. Well, only the chicken. The only food I ate in Germany was
chicken." (Kimchi and gimbop are brought on most vacations)
39) You dial a wrong number, proceed to yell at the people on the other end
of the line for not being the people you were trying to call, hang up on
them in a huff......and then hit redial.
40) You do exactly what your boss tells you to do, no matter how stupid and
idiotic.
41) You would never dream of asking to get paid extra for the overtime
worked.
42) You feel well rewarded for the long hours and sacrifice if you get taken
out for sam-gap-sal (Pork BBQ)and a few hours in a singing room once or
twice a year.
43) You sleep under a piece of oversized gauze and call it a sheet.
44) You put sweet potato on pizza. (it's actually pretty good)
45) You think picking your teeth or nose in public isn't polite...unless you
oh so discreetly do it with one hand covering up your activity.
46) You push, claw, and elbow your way to position yourself to be the first
to exit the subway car, and then right after you exit, you walk at a snail's
pace.
47) You go on a nice beach vacation, where you sit under the beautiful shade
of your huge umbrella fully clothed, wearing a Darth Vader visor, covered in
sun tan lotion, refusing to go near the water.
48 ) You eat dog because it supposedly gives your four thrusts instead of
three. (ha)
49) After going to the washroom, you wash your hands for 1 second under ice
cold water and dry them in your hair.
50) You open up a new business with an arch of balloons and two dancing
girls.
51) You proudly adorn your new business with a sign that reads:
"SINCE 2005"
52) You close the business two years later after realizing there were
already ten nearly identical businesses on the same block.
53) You would rather park on the sidewalk than the huge parking lot 5 feet
away.
54) You drive for 5 hours to spend 30 minutes at some over crowded tourist
trap.
55) You order a side of kimchi to go with your steak.
56) You ask the foreigner next to you if he can use chopsticks, while he is
eating with chopsticks.
57) You deny that Koreans still eat dog, after the foreigner next to you has
just said, "Last night I went out for dog with some Korean friends, it was
better than I thought it would be!"
58 ) You think eating eel will give you a hard-on, but eating bean sprouts
will make you lose it, and the reasoning behind both is: "the shape".
59) You correct the pronunciation of the American in the back of your cab,
by saying: "Ahh...you meaneuh Joji Bushi..."
60) You think your foreign co-worker's fridge is full of coca-cola, burgers,
ready-made sandwiches and spaghetti.
61) You think the messages of the Buddha and Jesus are perfectly compatible
with the statement: "Koreans are a superior race."
62) You base that superiority on being a descendent of a bear that ate
garlic.
63) And you claim the above is only a myth, but you believe it. And that
makes sense to you.
64) No one in your country has AIDS, but "kimchi" can cure it.
65) You are a young man who really believes in a future Asian revolution,
after which you, as a Korean, will be administering an Asian dominated
autocracy in which Chinese labor and Japanese technology are under your
boot. But whitey is way under that, and Africa and Southeast Asia have
somehow disappeared. You perform self-love to this fantasy daily.
66) You laugh at your foreign co-worker's "Brooseuh Williseuh" shaved head,
while pressing down your comb-over with a hand covered in your own saliva.
67) Your students try to convince you that Catholics are NOT Christians.
68 ) Your students tell you that they are devout Catholics but don't know
who the Pope is.
69) You order pizza and it comes with corn and mayonnaise as well as a side
serve of pickles to put on top.
70) You think that smoking in a crowded restaurant (with a no smoking sign)
or any other place is perfectly acceptable behavior for men but women who
smoke in public are clearly prostitutes.
71) Your students are convinced that music by The Beatles is hard core
rock'n'roll.
72) You see a flashing green walking man in the distance indicating that
pedestrians may cross...and you run at full pelt, as though you were running
away from a T-Rex, to cross the road. God forbid having to wait 2 minutes
until the next one.
73) You think that the sink in the bathroom/public toilet is for fixing your
hair and appearance and NOT for washing your hands after going to the
toilet.
74) You have a terrible cold and it doesn't occur to you that coughing in
other people's faces and food will make them sick too.
75) You honestly believe foreigners care about whose island takashimi/dokdo
is!
76) You think an ambulance with a siren blazing is just another car.
Therefore, you need not make way.
77) You hear the monthly air-raid sirens you are totally unfazed and go
about your business.
78 ) You stick a needle in your thumb to relieve indigestion. (i've never heard of this)
79) You wear an undershirt with a t-shirt.
80) You own a cell phone with a built-in breathalyzer. (what? they make those?)
81) Your main purpose of going to the office everyday is to persuade your
colleague(s) into a night of drinking.
82) Low cut, v-neck, floral print, pink t-shirt, shiny jeans, and Paris
Hilton-esque sunglasses are perfectly acceptable items for a heterosexual
man to wear for a night on the prowl.
83) Your pink/lavender v-neck shirt is the manliest shirt you own.
84) You put corn on/in any kind of Western food.
85) You warn your visiting friends/family about how hot ALL Korean food
is... and check to make sure they can eat it when they're half done.
86) You understand why prior to a given date there will be no heat and after
a given date there will no longer be heat, regardless of the weather.
87) You cover your mouth when you laugh or smile but not when you cough or
sneeze.
88) In the winter (-10 degree weather), you wear short skirts, but in the
summer(in +40 weather) you cover all skin with jeans and a sweater because
that＊s the fashion.
89) You don＊t wear deodorant because Koreans don＊t sweat.＊
90) You think women who are proud of their sexuality are sluts.
91) Your idea of real "bonding session" is getting liqured up on soju until
you puke or pass out
92) Seeing a man in a funny costume hitting another man in a funny costume
over the head with a plastic hammer has you rolling in stiches.
93) You use your 7 words of English because a foreigner is within earshot.
94) You bring korean food with you when you visit another county.
95) At any given moment in your life, your favorite song is a jingle from a
TV commercial.
96) You see an adult/child take a leak in public and think nothing of it.
97) You simply walk over the guy laying on the sidewalk.
98) A Korean mispronounces serveral words and you understand them perfectly.
99) You set up a time to meet somebody and think nothing of it if you are
two hours late.
100) You plan a major event at the last minute and wonder why it didn't go
well.
101) Of course you're well travelled! You went on a package tour to see
Angkor Wat (13:00-13:15), the Grand Palace (17:00-17:20), and, of course,
Italy (an entire Tuesday afternoon!).
102) When your business is failing you dig up your great Granda and rebury
him facing in a different direction. (i don't know what this means)
103) Your son seems to be getting a lot of colds, so you change his name. (what?)
104) You think that giving money to homeless people whom you've never met is
a character flaw on the part of the giver.
105) You think scientists will soon find evidence of Korean culture on the
moon.
106) You can't remember the last time you saw your children.
107) You think the most influential person in world history is King Sejong.
108) You tell every foreigner that you meet that Koreans are kind＊.
109) You deny that Korea owes any scientific or intellectual debt to the
West.
110) You think that the American Army is occupying your country, but you
don't want them to leave.
111) The grass outside your company needs cut, so you call up your Granny
and tell her to get her knitting circle over there asap.
112) Although there are 20 other free urinals in the men＊s bathroom,

you
take the one next to the foreigner so that you can peek at his willy.
113) You convert to Christianity because your senior at work is a Christian,
and he seems like a nice guy.
114) You think badminton is a sport.
115) You aren＊t even the slightest bit moved by the plight of animals at the
local zoo.
116) You think that the only reason why Koreans have never invaded any of
their neighbors (Russia, China and Japan) is because Koreans are very
peaceful.
117) You＊re a Korean bus driver and you can＊t figure out why the old lady
who just boarded the bus is now lying face down on the floor.
118) You pick a booger on a packed subway, hold it up for inspection, roll
it into a ball, inspect it again, flick it. Then, without the slightest hint
of self-consciousness, go back for seconds.
119) Your children spend 16 hours a day memorizing things they forget the
minute they pass the exam and you think you are providing a great education.

120) You can hold entire 10-minute phone conversations using only the sounds
'eeehhhhhh' and 'yeaaahhhhh'
121) You don't care if your bratty children run ragged in restaurants with
no discipline whatsoever
122) You think ending sentences with three or four whiny-sounding tonal
fluctuations in your spoken language is chic and cute
123) Rice and kimchi....the breakfast of champions.
124) You think its fine (and actively encourage) your child to grow up
loathing Japan.
125) You think Korea really is the 'Hub of Asia'.